Thirty-five years ago tonight, the world lost an incredible talent, and I lost my idol before I was even born into this life to realize it. John Lennon was my hero and inspiration when I was growing up; perhaps I wouldn't have pursued a writing career if his ghost hadn't influenced me. In honor of his memory, and the memory of how much he once meant to me, I would like to share this poem that I wrote for him when I was 16. (This poem was published in The International Who's Who in Poetry anthology circa 2005, and has been republished in my book Fragments of the Moon.)
I lost my love -- one night in December
Cold hateful night -- my heart remembers
But I cannot cry for what's been lost in lifetimes before.
Cannot cry -- let sorrow madden
Cannot weep -- for I never had him
What was lost -- died -- before I was born.
And I wonder -- with his body broken
What was said -- with words unspoken
What was cried and buried with his blood spilled on the floor
What was buried -- when they burned him
What was lost -- so history turned him
Into the kind of hero -- that he never was before.
And I imagine -- as time slowly passes
Cracked and shattered -- like his glasses
What might have been had the stars in his sky -- not been bitter and sore
Would I lie here -- forever dreaming
Always dying -- eternally bleeding
For the love I lost in a life -- that never existed before
Would I cry -- and long to hold him
Before the bullets -- neatly stole him
Would I lose -- and love this angel
Forever -- or nevermore?
© 2000 Stacy Baggett